On What She is Thinking About

"Mom, I am thinking about drumettes."
(Me) "?"
"You know. Drumettes. Like drumsticks. Little ones. You know. Food. I was just thinking about them."

On Her White Sweater (Continuing Her Campaign Against The Color White)

"This sweater that I am wearing looks like a fungus. Because its white. Fungus is white."

Upon Studying The Car's Dashboard

"Which button makes the car spin?"
(me) "WHAT?"
"Nevermind. I was not talking about your car."

On Bathrooms

"Mom I wish our toilet was bright colors. I do not like the color white."

On The Smell Of My Head As I Lay Sleeping

"Mom, your brain stinks of bees."

On Owning a Horse

"I wish I owned a horse. Then I could ride into town and get hot dogs in a can. And the horse would be pink, with stars on it."

On Lightswitches

"Mom, I wish there was a button right here on the wall that would turn our house into a giant bouncy house. With balls. And a slide that would be right here."

On The Scene From Tinkerbell and The Great Fairy Rescue When Tinkerbell Gets Slammed in A Cage

"Well, I guess now she is doomed."